Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
