I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
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