Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
Randomize
