Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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