Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
You ruined the universe
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
Randomize
