Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Randomize
