omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
Randomize
