my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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