No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
