Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
You were trust falling into bushes
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
Randomize
