Where did you get a picture of my penis
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
50% drunk capacity currently
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
Randomize
