I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
