I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
Randomize
