repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
Randomize
