margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
