you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
Randomize