All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
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