I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
