yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
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