so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
Banned from zoo.
Again?
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
Randomize
