doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
Randomize
