Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
Randomize
