I wish I could punch you in the face.
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
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