Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
Randomize
