it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
I know her cup size but not her name....
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Randomize
