That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
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