I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
Randomize
