its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
Randomize