the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Randomize
