I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize
