we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
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