sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
You're breaking my sexual little heart
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
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