Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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