I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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