My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
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