Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Randomize