Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
