Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
