He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
