Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
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