You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
