Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
