Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
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