dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
Randomize
