It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
