my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
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