I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
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