Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
Randomize
