dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
Randomize
