Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
