In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
Randomize
