its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
