i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
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