everyone is single if you try hard enough
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Randomize
