my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
Randomize