Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
i may or may not be watching the land before time
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
Randomize
