This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize
