i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
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