I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
