the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
Randomize
