I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
Randomize
