i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
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