i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
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