Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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