you turned your livingroom into a bong?
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Randomize
