I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
There was a lot of him and a little penis
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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