So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Randomize
