I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
Randomize
