he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Randomize
