Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
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