they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
Randomize
