Buhtt sex?
I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
Randomize
