Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
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