my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
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